What’s in a Name?
OOk... So the phone rings and I pick up. The voice on the other side crackles to a very hesitant " Errrr.. May i speak with Sh….sha…shvee… -....Err... umm...”
"S-H-V-E-T-A! ! ! " I almost holler, but all I manage is a sophisticated "Shveta ???? "
" Aaah yesss... Shavettaa!!... Right... (I feel the immense relief in her voice)... Phewww....
So, the past few years of corporate life and especially corporate life in America, have been extremely entertaining. The frequent barrage of unusual re-incarnations of my name, proves one fact - The human fraternity has a deeply ingrained ability to be immensely imaginative (and extremely entertainingly so!) and has managed to mellow down my initial annoyance.
I cannot help but dedicate this article to the interesting versions that have been released and quite frankly I find it amusing that a single name can have so many flavors hidden beneath !!! All in a day's time, I can hop from being a cool, funky chick from Delhi to a Mallu bomb shell to a famous Indian comic porn star and also at times the hot sensual Russian. Anything, but Me!! Lol.
Anyway, I have classified the different versions under categories so that the readers may feel free to throw themselves into any one of them (or come up with a new category/version all together, I'm in an extremely jubilant mood tonight!!! - Well fed so won't bite!)
So here goes...
Sweta – To my big in number friends from UP and Bihar who are beyond therapy!
Shwetha – To my friends and colleagues from down South (No offence )
Shaveata – Happens to be popular as my “Starbucks” name. Trust me I gave up after the third time.
Sheweta – To all my buddies for whom I have relaxed the laws of mutilation just because they make me sound “Extra Sophisticated”
Sveta – To my friends who have an innate love for alcohol….sounds like some sort of “Vodka”
Sweetha – To those who are in dire need of something “Meetha” and are generally greeted by me with compassion given my love for sweets.
Savita – Seriously dude? Didn’t know I was being fantasized by the “Savita Bhabhi” fan club!
Svita – To those who are way too lazy even to pronounce a full name and found short creative ways!
Svetlana – To my Russian and Ukrainian colleagues who don’t even want to try to learn the name lol! I don’t mind the excuse though…”Oooh that’s a beautiful name…so similar to what we call a beautiful girl in our country…it suits you so well…Svetlana!”
Then there are the random ones which I have set aside for a few individuals who get a huge kick out of the entire thing! I have to be really careful around these people, as the most ridiculous of the versions have proven to be the most adhesive!!!
Golu – To all my closet buddies who have ensured I totally forget my real name and be popularly known as “GOLU”. Trust me I’d turn if anyone call me that in Public lol.
Golunda – To Pinku by gunda!
Goli – To Minal
Golzy – To the one any only wicked “Toni””
Jalandhar – To Ashu
Tamatar – To Bond
Gol-gappa – To my uncle who has to pull my cheeks every time I see him
Motu – To my Mom….no matter how much weight I lose, she will continue to fondly call me “Motu”
Gummy – To Pankaj who’s creativity I adore and so love being called “Gummy!”
Cheetah – To Manu who continues to keep my inner predator alive.
Sharmaji – To Dharam who keeps me synced to my Indian roots
At this point I can safely assume that the laws of permutation allow no more.
Meanwhile, I’m just going to share this with my folks, give them a call and thank them for blessing me with such a beautiful name. I'm sure they’ll have as much fun reading as I had writing this.
P.S – SHVETA in Hindi means " Lovely, Pure and White " and I love every moment of being me :)
Dated: March 25, 2020
(Inspired by – Shelter in Place!)
