Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Vulnerability and security....is there a point of convergence?

Its been 4 months since i posted something on my blog...yes and i do have the usual most common excuse.."Life's been really busy". Anyway i guess the topic that i intend to write about has had a deep impact on me and so i had to steal time to express what i feel.
Being into a relationship for sometime now i realize how important it is to feel secure about the relationship and how very vulnerable it makes you to the other person. And "NO ONE WANTS TO BECOME VULNERABLE TO ANYONE IN TODAYS SCENARIO"...and so all of us want to play safe! Look at the irony finally one starts feeling insecure about being vulnerable to another person just in order to find security...gosh! its a viscious circle.
I see my friends who are "committed" seeing other couples breaking-up and ruining their own relationships by applying or trying to apply the same situation on there own relation. Come on how stupid can that be. There are friends who come to me and say "Shveta, even though we are going strong , i am trying to maintain a distance so that if in future things dont work out or we break up, none of us is hurt and esp I should not be hurt. I love him/her but i dont want to so vulnerable to him/her that he/she starts taking me for granted or hurts me when we break off."
For god sake...how on the earth can one get into any relationship for that matter...where you are always trying to play safe and where you are scared of being vulnerable but you want to feel secure at the same time! I see no point of convergence any where! It is this mentality and this attitude in people now days that relationships fail miserably.
The only solution i recommend is that you got to trust a little more, do not rush into realtionships, take time to express your feeling, make sure that you strongly feel for someone and its not just infactuation and that you are not scared to let the skeletons fall off from your cupboard in front of him/her and that you can be yourself all the time. That is when we can arrive at a point of convergence. Trust, Patience and an open mind is all it needs to make things work and to make life happy!