Dream On

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth
To the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along
By the river of dreams

This song by Billy Joel has been a timeless classic for me. It’s this gush of positivity when I have felt low and hopeless.

Today this song just queued up on my YouTube auto play list and made me think…

Why is it that this song never fails to bring a smile?

Am I more of a dreamer than an achiever?

Is imagination more attractive to me that being realistic?

What drives me, Inspiration? or Results?

Am I more emotional than being practical?

And for all these questions…what is the right thing be to be “successful” in today’s world?

After a few hours of debating with myself I did gain some clarity. These questions boiled down to a goals vs dreams conversation.

Goals and dreams are very subjective. Something that could be a goal for one person would be a dream for another. It is all about what ecosystem you are in at that point in time. As far as I can recollect, growing up my dreams kept changing as I was exposed to the bigger world around me. They say that “Dreams aren’t easily fulfilled”, I don’t think so. As a 10-year-old I would dream of visiting the United States and driving a car or maybe owning one. It appeared to be seemingly impossible then but long fulfilled and feels like a piece of cake now. Today I have “bigger” (bigger again is such a subjective word) dreams and ever so changing.

In my endeavor to “Live the Dream” I realize that I have achieved many smaller tangible “goals” that have enabled me to get more creative, imaginative and aspirational with my next dream.

So, there is no right or wrong to define success. For me, my dreams drive me forward and onward. So, dream on…paint your picture…experiment with colors…the canvas is infinite. As Billy said…. “The River of Dreams”.

Craft Cocktails

Moving to San Francisco has been a delight in many ways. One of the most amazing ones being; the introduction to the world of Craft Cocktails.

Being a single woman in SF has been a blessing in disguise as it gave me an opportunity to meet a variety of men which in turn led me to many fascinating bars in the area. Well, there have been many first dates at coffee shops (don’t get me wrong, a great coffee and conversation is any day a much better start) but I have to admit that the ones while sipping a perfectly prepared cocktail have definitely resulted in interesting conversations, laughter and don’t make me too eager to head out if it is not going as well. I’d say clearly, I come out as a more patient person.

Two years later, today, still single, I could direct you to some of the most incredible bars. Benefits of unsuccessful first dates I say. Knowledge and learning is everywhere!

Men like cocktails, I feel are of all kinds:

Classic
Refreshing
Enigmatic
Spunky
Dark
Smooth
Crisp
Exotic
Strong
Intoxicating
Bitter
Sweet
Simple

I have always struggled to rank my favorite "kind" in an order of preference. There are days when a "Refreshing" Mojito would do the trick and then there are days that only an "Exotic" Old-Fashioned would make my day. 

As I continue to enjoy this exploration, I hope one day I am able to find "THE ONE" craft cocktail that fills my heart up with its flavors!

What's in a Name?

What’s in a Name?

OOk... So the phone rings and I pick up. The voice on the other side crackles to a very hesitant " Errrr.. May i speak with Sh….sha…shvee… -....Err... umm...”

"S-H-V-E-T-A! ! ! " I almost holler, but all I manage is a sophisticated "Shveta ???? "

" Aaah yesss... Shavettaa!!... Right... (I feel the immense relief in her voice)... Phewww....

So, the past few years of corporate life and especially corporate life in America, have been extremely entertaining. The frequent barrage of unusual re-incarnations of my name, proves one fact - The human fraternity has a deeply ingrained ability to be immensely imaginative (and extremely entertainingly so!) and has managed to mellow down my initial annoyance.

I cannot help but dedicate this article to the interesting versions that have been released and quite frankly I find it amusing that a single name can have so many flavors hidden beneath !!! All in a day's time, I can hop from being a cool, funky chick from Delhi to a Mallu bomb shell to a famous Indian comic porn star and also at times the hot sensual Russian. Anything, but Me!! Lol.

Anyway, I have classified the different versions under categories so that the readers may feel free to throw themselves into any one of them (or come up with a new category/version all together, I'm in an extremely jubilant mood tonight!!!  - Well fed so won't bite!)

So here goes... 

Sweta – To my big in number friends from UP and Bihar who are beyond therapy!

Shwetha – To my friends and colleagues from down South (No offence )

Shaveata – Happens to be popular as my “Starbucks” name. Trust me I gave up after the third time.

Sheweta – To all my buddies for whom I have relaxed the laws of mutilation just because they make me sound “Extra Sophisticated”

Sveta – To my friends who have an innate love for alcohol….sounds like some sort of “Vodka”

Sweetha – To those who are in dire need of something “Meetha” and are generally greeted by me with compassion given my love for sweets.

Savita – Seriously dude? Didn’t know I was being fantasized by the “Savita Bhabhi” fan club!

Svita – To those who are way too lazy even to pronounce a full name and found short creative ways!

Svetlana – To my Russian and Ukrainian colleagues who don’t even want to try to learn the name lol! I don’t mind the excuse though…”Oooh that’s a beautiful name…so similar to what we call a beautiful girl in our country…it suits you so well…Svetlana!”

Then there are the random ones which I have set aside for a few individuals who get a huge kick out of the entire thing! I have to be really careful around these people, as the most ridiculous of the versions have proven to be the most adhesive!!! 

Golu – To all my closet buddies who have ensured I totally forget my real name and be popularly known as “GOLU”. Trust me I’d turn if anyone call me that in Public lol.

Golunda – To Pinku by gunda!

Goli – To Minal

Golzy – To the one any only wicked “Toni””

Jalandhar – To Ashu

Tamatar – To Bond

Gol-gappa – To my uncle who has to pull my cheeks every time I see him

Motu – To my Mom….no matter how much weight I lose, she will continue to fondly call me “Motu”

Gummy – To Pankaj who’s creativity I adore and so love being called “Gummy!”

Cheetah – To Manu who continues to keep my inner predator alive.

Sharmaji – To Dharam who keeps me synced to my Indian roots

At this point I can safely assume that the laws of permutation allow no more.

Meanwhile, I’m just going to share this with my folks, give them a call and thank them for blessing me with such a beautiful name. I'm sure they’ll have as much fun reading as I had writing this.

P.S – SHVETA in Hindi means " Lovely, Pure and White " and I love every moment of being me :)

                                                                                             Dated: March 25, 2020

                                                                                                     (Inspired by – Shelter in Place!)

Me vs Myself!

No matter what or who I become in front of others, unintentionally or otherwise, the one time I get to know myself, is when I’m alone, with my guard down, that is the one time when I’m not wearing the mask of the role that I’m expected to play. It is then when I‘m standing face to face with myself and there is no veil to shield my faults, and no modesty to underplay my strengths

I believe that I’m a part of a larger whole, which would be incomplete without me, and this is what motivates me. The awareness that my life is infinitely important and my mission is to showcase my individuality in my own unique way, in my own sphere of activities. I strive to pursue a path ever upward and onward…Please don’t get me wrong, m not all about serious ‘philosophy’... I’m very human; I’m Complex, inscrutable, enigmatic, and indifferent. I’m predictable, unpredictable, logical, illogical... can be irrepressibly naive and terribly wise at the same time. I refuse to live unconsciously. Almost everything is a well thought of, conscious decision (barring a few times ;) ).

I'm too people oriented to sit by idle.. I'm genuine (when I want to be) and sugar sweet (if I have to be)... till then expect anything. I can viciously hate a few things and when "moved" I could curdle milk with one of my sour stares (my friends tell me so). In moods like these I don’t know what i really like.. but I think i like to hate most of the things.. Which is so funny, and I eventually end up laughing to myself.I love to perpetually have myself glued to either a sofa at coffee shop sipping overpriced chocolate espressos with 2 or 3 friends that I absolutely adore, or in front of my laptop doing no real constructive work.

I sometimes get very random with my thoughts.. to illustrate:

Shveta is

A food lover…...

highly optimistic ,

the thinker..

the art lover..

chocolate addict.....

music lover…

nature lover...

the poetess..(this one I’d like to be)

wonderful advice giver...

sports woman...

Popular for sense of humor….

clothes obsessor..

fiercely loyal...

thoughtful...

patient...

letter writer...

romantic…

Formerly the outstanding student’..
And Miss Talented(I think I have lost it now)…..

also the life of parties...(hehe)( That’s what all my friends have to say to me!!)
and now the almost 34 something corporate slave!

So what is Shveta Sharma about…………..

Shveta, a smart woman. A simple bundle of contradictions and complexities. Very plain to see. A study in silence. Seldom sesquipedalian. Shveta………………………………

Light up!

We all want perfect lives, no one wants to be alone

There are times when life gets so lonely, 

we turn to people unknown    

Seeking affection, we sway the way we get blown.

All I see is darkness,

something like a huge black hole,

Evil thoughts with full force,

ready to take control.

Determined I stand,

to not let darkness ruin my soul.

I face it strong, I face it bold...

Until, I see the light, an awakening that made me glow.

We all need to face our dark side

that is where we have passion and energy galore!

Do not fear it , direct it, embrace it.

That's when you become whole.

You are the darkness, you are the light.

You are the lighthouse of your life!

                             ~ Shveta Sharma

                                27th Jan'14

The Leaf of Life...

I came into this world fragile and innocent
Looking for water and sunshine to grow.

I blossomed into a beautiful green leaf,
fresh and vibrant, 
enthusiasm that made me glow.

Dancing in the wind, playing in the rain
Life was fun there was no pain.

Then one day, a gush of air...
Departed from the branch and I was blown.
With so much glee, I gently floated without sound
I traveled far, I traveled slow 
Before I touched the ground so low.

I lay there confident smiling and bold
Ready to take on the world that was beautiful
as I had known.

At times I wildly flew, 
twisting and turning through the air
Exhausted, drop to earth below.

Time flew and so did I until one day I felt huge pain
A feeling so terribly new that drove me insane
Tremendous pressure crippling me down,
Crushed, I lay on the ground.

I just lay there slowly turning brown, each breath was a pain
With each gush of air I tried to reach the branch, my home, but in vain.

As days pass, I fray a little more, it pains a little more
and I learn about life a lot more.

Every time I rise with the wind...my hopes soar high
But gently I fall again without a sound and hopes again defy.

                                                       ~ Shveta Sharma
                                                          19th Jan 2014.

Vulnerability and security....is there a point of convergence?

Its been 4 months since i posted something on my blog...yes and i do have the usual most common excuse.."Life's been really busy". Anyway i guess the topic that i intend to write about has had a deep impact on me and so i had to steal time to express what i feel.
Being into a relationship for sometime now i realize how important it is to feel secure about the relationship and how very vulnerable it makes you to the other person. And "NO ONE WANTS TO BECOME VULNERABLE TO ANYONE IN TODAYS SCENARIO"...and so all of us want to play safe! Look at the irony finally one starts feeling insecure about being vulnerable to another person just in order to find security...gosh! its a viscious circle.
I see my friends who are "committed" seeing other couples breaking-up and ruining their own relationships by applying or trying to apply the same situation on there own relation. Come on how stupid can that be. There are friends who come to me and say "Shveta, even though we are going strong , i am trying to maintain a distance so that if in future things dont work out or we break up, none of us is hurt and esp I should not be hurt. I love him/her but i dont want to so vulnerable to him/her that he/she starts taking me for granted or hurts me when we break off."
For god sake...how on the earth can one get into any relationship for that matter...where you are always trying to play safe and where you are scared of being vulnerable but you want to feel secure at the same time! I see no point of convergence any where! It is this mentality and this attitude in people now days that relationships fail miserably.
The only solution i recommend is that you got to trust a little more, do not rush into realtionships, take time to express your feeling, make sure that you strongly feel for someone and its not just infactuation and that you are not scared to let the skeletons fall off from your cupboard in front of him/her and that you can be yourself all the time. That is when we can arrive at a point of convergence. Trust, Patience and an open mind is all it needs to make things work and to make life happy!